1. Going to Britmums Live in London, where I drank the Lindemans stand dry, learnt lots of new blog tricks, none of which I have put into practice because I am lame, and met some fab women. My new blogger mate, Tanya over at Muma Leary is fabulous. Check out her blog - she's almost as crap as me and was my partner in wine drinking. She's one of us.
2. Slaughtering ants. Still. STILL THEY COME. I was moaning about this at work last week and all of my colleagues were bemoaning their ant related issues too. Then one of them said: "Mind you, *name of town I live in* is well known for its ant problem."
Well, that's just brilliant, isn't it? Obviously not well known enough to stop me from moving here. When my husband got a new job 6 years ago, he made me relocate from a town that was well known for its outstanding beauty and being a lovely place to live to...somewhere that's famous for having an ant problem. Ace. Marital relations are rather frosty at the moment.
3. Refurbishing a chest of drawers. ALL MONTH. Lesson: If you look at an item of furniture in your house and think "ooh, that could do with a bit of a spruce up, I'll just give it a quick sand down and slap a bit of paint on it", do yourself a favour and don't bother. You will lose an entire month of your life and several nails to sanding and picking paint off it, and it will still look a bit shit when you've finished. Embrace Scandinavian style and go to Ikea.
4. Attending various school events. I'm a proper parent now I've been to sports day and a summer fair in the rain. The small one did me proud and came first in one of his races and second in the other two. I can only assume that he's been on the old anabolic steroids, as he is not generally known for his sporting ability, and the one time I saw him do some gymnastics after he attended an ill advised extra curricular activity for 6 weeks, I thought I was going to rupture something from laughing.
5. Dieting. Again. Because I have all the impulse control of a toddler in a paddling pool filled with pick and mix. And not the sort of toddler whose mum swears he only eats wholefoods and thinks raisins are sweets. A normal toddler with a slack mother. Sigh. Wine is basically grapes, right?